


Caraphernelia

by leviathaneren



Series: Crazy Little Thing (Called Love) [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Stablished Relationship, Top Levi, Two Shot, ereri, i seem to always misuse metaphors, im pretty sure Eren cried, im so sorry, not enough lube was used I'm sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-11 02:54:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2050872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviathaneren/pseuds/leviathaneren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <strong>Caraphernelia;</strong>
  <br/>
  <em>A broken-heart disease whenever someone leaves you but leaves all their things behind.</em>
</p>
<p>Levi's an asshole, Eren knows, in the same way he knows that he should not have let his hopes up; though he still can't help the crack he definitely feels and hears inside is chest as he leaves, and nobody follows him.</p>
<p>He knew this would happen; he wast too much of an idiot to accept it sooner and spare himself the pain. Now he has to live with the consequences that come with dating (or attempting to date) someone like Levi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Caraphernelia

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. I Don't know, really. (title and summary from [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZVYOriINwc) song) 
> 
> I'm also sorry. I seem to want to make these poor idiots suffer all the time, for some reason.  
> Anyway, enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night/ (But, there's just something about)/  
>  This dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy/ Licking your fingers like you're done and/ You've decided there is so much more than me/ And baby, honestly it's harder breathing next to you, I shake/ I brought a gun and as the preacher tried to stop me/ **Hold my heart it's beating for you anyway**_

_Can we meet? We have to talk_

Levi frowned down to his phone, wondering what exactly Eren could want. It wasn’t unusual for him to ask him to go and eat out, or have coffee, or to simply go for a walk in the park; Levi normally said no, of course, but this time it seemed important.

 _Yes,_ he typed, and waited.

The response didn’t feel as happy as it normally would whenever-despite rarely- Levi answered Eren’s texts; instead, the words on the screen looked solemn and dull. So unlike Eren.

 _Are you free today at around 4pm?_ It said, and then a second text came in with, _at the café that’s down the street from your home?_

Levi sighed, looking at the clock. Damn him, Levi had this afternoon off and he wanted to spend it alone and not in company of his quite _eccentric_ boyfriend, no matter how much he- grudgingly- enjoyed his company. So he sighed and resigned himself to type a bitter _sure,_ but Eren did not respond after that.

That’s the first thing that went wrong that day, because it’s always Levi the one who doesn’t send a text and deems the conversation over.

The second thing was the afternoon chill that bit at the tip of his fingers and made his nose go red in the cold. He lamented not bringing a heavy jacket or a scarf or mittens, even if the only pair he owns is that ugly piece of cloth that Eren gave him last Christmas as a joke, the ones with a weird rainbow pattern and smiling cat on the back of it (“It’s cute,” Eren had said. “It kinda reminds me of you.”)

He hates them more than he hates the brat, sometimes. But back then, walking the streets of London after 2pm in the beginnings of December, he wished he at least had that protection against the elements.

By the time Levi made it into the café, he was sure his dick was about to shrink back into his pelvis because of how fucking cold it had been.

The third thing that went wrong was when he saw Eren on a booth on the far back, even when Levi knows he prefers to sit up front bedside the window. _Since when do I know this,_ Levi asked himself with an air of surprise but not displeasure. He shrugged it off, something he knows not to do now. _Maybe it’s because of how long you’ve been together,_ he reasoned. _After all, this month it’s your first year anniversary._ More than he’d ever lasted in a relationship.

He walked over to Eren with careful step, not noticing the dark aura that surrounded him.

The fourth thing was that a cup of black coffee with two sugars was resting on the table in front of Eren, who also had a cup of coffee- black, from the smell of it, which in itself was weird because Eren _despised_ black coffee (he wondered when he learnt that, too) (He also shrugged it off with the same excuse of time) (even if he knew that Eren normally orders a cinnamon and mint latte in Christmastime)-  which was odd, because Eren always insists they order together, even if he knows Levi’s order by heart (since Eren also insists on making him coffee every time he spends the night at Levi’s home) and Levi could just _ask_ Eren what he would like to drink (even if he _knows_ that during autumn, Eren likes pumpkin spice lattes and in winter cinnamon and mint and in summer he prefers iced chai lattes and in spring it’s always cold fruit and green tea)- but no, the little shit always wants to walk up to the counter, annoy the shit out of Levi by clinging to his arm or simply holding is hand, and have them order like if they were a married, straight couple. Which they are not.

 The fifth thing, Levi guessed, was the previously mentioned and gone into detail with- Eren was drinking black coffee.

“I thought you didn’t _like_ black coffee,” Levi commented, actually making an effort to break the awkward atmosphere that hung over them.

Eren smiled, and it felt wrong in a lot of ways. “I don’t,” he said, looking down at his cup, toward the far away window, the paintings on the walls. Anywhere but Levi’s eyes. “But this time it feels appropriate, don’t you think?” he said, and Levi didn’t understand.

There was a short silence between them in which they sipped at their coffee, and Levi wondered why he even bothered to come, since he could have been working, then, instead of wasting his precious time sitting in silence inside a noisy coffee shop. Levi suspected the noise was the silence itself, and then proceeded confuse himself with weird, metaphorical thoughts until Eren spoke again.

“Levi…” He started, but then stopped and looked down when Levi turned toward him. “Yes?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow in inquiry. Eren tried again.  “Levi… I never knew what your favourite colour was,” he said, looking away. “I never knew how you liked your coffee, really, even if I always made it for you in the mornings,” Levi noted the past tense, and oh, there’s the sixth thing. “I never knew if you liked the warmth or the cold, I never knew whether you preferred cats or dogs, or who your least favourite workmate was,” Eren chuckled, and it sounded more like a sob, as if his throat was swelling and it wouldn’t let his voice out.

Levi wished for his voice not to come out.

“Why would you want to know those things?” Levi asked, voice as flat as ever. “They are not important. What’s the point of this, anyway?” He asked, crossing his arms.

“They are, though,” Eren said, and when he looked up his eyes looked like glass and not the captivating shade of green that isn’t green but isn’t blue or yellow, either. They did not hold the warmth that they normally do when he looks at Levi. And Levi thought about how weird it was that he could ever describe a pair of eyes as ‘warm.’ And that was the seventh thing that went wrong.

“They are,” he sighs. “They are because they represent the small things. You don’t truly know a person if you don’t know these things.”

“I don’t know what you mean with this, Eren,” Levi said, annoyed. He was always annoyed, it seemed. At least when it came to Eren.

“I know you don’t,” he laughed a little, but it held no humour.  “I know. I'm sorry. Shit, Levi, I'm sorry.” He said, and Levi had no idea why the kid was apologising since there was nothing to apologise for.

“I never bothered to know these things about you. Or, well, I did, but _you_ didn’t.” he looked away again. Levi frowned. “You didn’t. and I mean, for the little I know you, I know that you're naturally cold and stoic and intimidating, and I'm not gonna lie, that was what first drew me into you.  But now… now it’s what is drawing me out.”

Ah. The eighth thing.

“I don’t know what I did wrong. Maybe it was that I thought that I’d be able to crack you open and make you smile, at least once-“ _but you did,_ “-or that I thought you would let me in-“ _and I did, you just never realised,_ “-and I was a fool for thinking that I would be different from others-“ _and you are,_ “-but it turns out I am not-“ _what are you talking about, Eren? “_ –And I'm sorry for not being good enough-“you’re _blabbering nonsense, Eren, are you sure you're okay?_ “-and that I was so insistent in the matters within our relationship-“ _you weren’t insistent at all_ “-and pressuring you into things you didn’t want, or didn’t need-“ _but I did need them, I need you_ “-I'm sorry I was never beautiful  enough for you-“ _but you are, you are perfect_ “-and that I was too exuberant and eccentric-“ _and that’s what I love the most about you,_ “-maybe a cared too much-“ _no, you cared enough,_ “-or not enough-“ _you cared in just the right amount I needed, Eren,_ “-And that’s maybe the reason you don’t love me like I love you-“ _but I do, I love you so much, so very much_ “-so I think… I think we were never meant to be, after all-” _Eren, don’t_ “-and I think you are better off without me, because my personality is toxic when it interacts with yours.”

Eren finished talking, and the silence is tense between them.

“So, you mean… You are breaking up with me?”

Eren looked away from Levi’s eyes, which had hardened and cooled and didn’t show their usual emotion.

“…yes.”

Levi sighed, and he felt his heart shatter inside his chest. It felt so real, and he was surprised nobody else heard it.

His face was still neutral.

“Okay.” And that the ninth thing that went wrong.

Eren looked away and stood up, setting his now empty cup of coffee down on the table.

“I’m very sorry, Levi.” He said, and a tear made its way down the side of Eren’s face and onto the floor.

He went and stood bedside Levi, and Levi held his breath as Eren leant down and kissed his temple tenderly, and lovingly, and Levi heated it. It felt like if a door had been slammed in his face, and the key was in the other side.

“Take care of yourself, Levi,” He whispered. “That I'm not there doesn’t mean you don’t have to take your medicine or eat at least three times a day.” then he kissed Levi again, and he was gone.

 

His tenth and last mistake- not thing that went wrong, since, apparently, in the course of the few days that have passed since their coffee date, he's discovered that these were all mistakes made by him, and not just things that went wrong just to ruin that day, his life and immediate existence- was not stopping Eren from leaving him. It was not grabbing his arm when he stopped beside Levi, not chasing him out of the door.

His last mistake was letting him go.

Now, see if he cares. See if he cares that Eren- the man that he's come to love in these past few months, the man that managed to drag him in deep, deep, deep into him without Levi realising it until it was too late, the man that once meant the world to Levi and he never realised it until it was too late, the man that would always make sure he ate and had a coat and freshly brewed coffee, the man that baked him a birthday cake when he thought everyone had forgotten about his birthday (again), the man that took a week off work so that he could look after a sick and delirious Levi, the man that loved him unconditionally, the absolutely _impossible_ man who carved his way into the centre of Levi’s heart just to leave an Eren-shaped hole in it-had just left.

And, well, it was his fault. It was his fault for never saying ‘I love you,’ back, for not wanting to cuddle whenever Eren wanted to, for ignoring Eren’s _good morning, babe_ and _goodnight, beautiful_ daily texts, for being too much of a coward to let Eren inside in a conscious manner, for not showing the affections that Eren so obviously craved and locking his heart out of reach even if Eren managed to get to it, anyways.  

See if he cares that his heart had been ripped out of his chest and stoned and stepped and spit on.

See if he cares that Eren's broken his heart, even before he even realised he was in love.

See if he cares. Because he does; he cares a lot. And he hates it all.

And now it's over.


	2. The End Of All Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **ending;**  
>  An end or final part of something, especially a period of time, an activity, or a book or movie.
> 
> _Whether near or far/I am always yours/Any change in time/We are young again/Lay us down/ We're in love/Lay us down/ We're in love/In these coming years/Many things will change/But the way I feel/Will remain the same/Lay us down/We're in love/Lay us down/ **We're in love...** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened I think I deleted this chapter by accident? Wow sorry!!  
> Originally posted on august 15th, 2014!!  
> [Title and summary from this song!](http://ataco-ntitan.tumblr.com/tagged/my%25snapchat)
> 
> ((It's funny bc the summary is literally the whole song lol))
> 
> Enjoy!!

Breaking up with Levi felt like getting an important organ removed, such as a lung, or a kidney. Except when it was still functioning, and the only thing that was wrong with it was, say, pneumonia or some kind of disease that’s neither chronic nor especially deadly (since we have all been told by our doctors that every single disease there is  can be deadly to some extent).

Around a week after (notice the _around,_ since Eren can’t really bother to count the days since) their ‘coffee date’, Eren is already regretting his decision. Even if it isn’t because it’s difficult to be apart for so long- there’d been cases in which they hadn’t talked or seen each other for more than two weeks- but the realisation that Eren will most probably never see or hear from him again sank in a few hours after he returned home.

It was mostly worry that Levi will most likely end up dying of starvation and/or prolonged exposure to a computer screen (that’s probably not something one can die of, exactly, but Levi would probably find a way to do it from either melting his retina or the radiation that comes out of the screen) (Which is probably unlikely too), but Eren still felt a deep hole in his heart whenever he thought about him (which was a lot). He was lucky this was his vacation week, and he still had next week free, too, because he’s sure that the patients wouldn’t be very happy with him having to get out of the inspection rooms and emergency ward every few minutes to go cry in the bathroom like the baby he is (Armin said it was normal since he was heartbroken and that it would stop soon)(Eren doubted it) or him having to prick their vein again and again just because his vision is too clouded from tears and exhaustion (he hasn’t been sleeping much, either).

He’s mostly spent this past time lying on his couch and watching stupid romantic comedies and eating a lot of ice cream and pizza (he can’t really bother to cook anything). Armin visited after the second day and forced Eren to shower and at something else that _wasn’t_ pizza or any kind of takeout (they ended up going to a cute restaurant in France, around half an hour away). Then he gave Eren a few sleeping pills and left him to sleep.

Eren hasn’t showered or eaten anything remotely healthy since then.   

He feels miserable, and that’s an understatement. 

He doesn’t have any missed calls from Levi, either, and that just adds up to his despair. Of course, Levi wouldn’t care about these kinds of mundane things such as _love_ or _commitment,_ or _care._ Well, Eren thinks, as far as I know he never did and only kept me around because the sex was good (Eren wasn’t going to lie there, and he unashamedly admits that yes, Levi Ackerman is damn good in bed even in his limited experience.) 

His phone is somewhere in-between the couch cushions, buried and forgotten (but not really), and the only reason Eren has a stray idea that it’s actually in there is the consistent and muffled ringing (Sadly, not the cheesy _faithfully_ by Journey that Eren has assigned Levi’s contact on their first week as an official couple much to Levi’s discontent, but the generic _Xylophone_ ringtone that all iPhones have). Eren isn’t very worried, since most of what he’s been doing is wonder if he made the right choice, eat ice cream (cry into the tub) and watch stupid Romance Comedies and Disney Movies on Netflix with his earbuds on (The phone will most likely run out of battery soon, anyway, since iPhone batteries don’t last for shit and he’s been feeling the vibrations of it on his butt too often to know that by now, it has at _most_ 10% power)

Back to Eren’s misery, he is dicking around in a way that’s become fairly routine-like to him in the past few days: eating ice-cream out of the tub and watching _The Emperor’s New Groove_ (“---did you come from, little guy?” “No... touchy.” “Demon llama!” ”Demon llama? Where?!” (he’ll turn around dramatically)”Maaah.” “Aaah!” he’ll narrate, almost religiously and as if he’s done it a thousand times before (he probably has)) On his TV (since Disney Channel is actually showing something decent for the first time in years) when an insistent, almost desperate knocking interrupts him and his- quite impressive, if he must say so himself- character imitation.

He sighs in discontent but doesn’t make a move to stand up (he’s really warm and cosy in a way he hasn’t been since a while ago, with is favourite blanket and ice cream flavour (that s’more thing that Ben & Jerry’s just released, the chocolate ice cream with pieces of walnuts, cookies and marshmallows combined in it) or to actually get the door. If it’s either Armin or Mikasa, chances are they have their keys to his flat with them (They exchanged flat keys when they first moved in on their own, “Just in case”) and anyone else can go actively fuck themselves because Eren is _so_ not up to interacting with anyone at the moment since his favourite scene is about to come on (“I can't believe this is happening!” “Then I bet you weren't expecting _this!”_ (He’d pull up one of the trouser legs of his pyjamas, screaming in horror) (then would the pull it a little higher and assimilate an imaginary knife) “Aha!” (He would then drop his trouser leg and sigh in relief) “Oh, okay...”)

But the knocking still continues, and it now starts to sound as if the person behind the door is saying something with a weird voice, so Eren sighs and looks at the TV in longing, cursing whoever is at the door (But he still stands up, thank fuck) and goes over to the door of his tiny little flat, thinking if one of the many ways he can tell someone to fuck off in a polite way.

He opens it in one of the small intervals in which the person stops knocking for a few seconds and starts to talk, thinking that, if he opens it while they’re knocking, then he’d probably get punched in the face.

 _Who_ he saw at the other side was unrecognisable at first, with unkempt and oily black strands of hair that fall over unwashed and porcelain-like skin and dull, tear-rimmed grey eyes.

“L-Levi…?” he asks, surprised.  The older male looks up, the crease in-between his brows deepening.

“Eren.”

Eren doesn’t know what to do, or say, or, or, or _anything._ He’s at loss, as it comes most of the time he’s spent with Levi.

So he doesn’t say anything.

“Eren… I came to apologise.” Levi says after a silence that feels like eons but is actually just a few seconds.  “I came to apologise for everything.”

Eren looks at him in confusion, and Levi sighs, looking down.

“Look, Eren. As much money I’ve earned with writing and putting words on paper, I’m not good at expressing my feelings through, ah, words, without needing a few days’ notice so I can prepare the stuff I want to say and, well, do, I guess,” he starts, locking his eyes with a point behind Eren and then not moving them from that position. “This time I… I just don’t know what to say. As much as I’ve wanted to prepare myself for this, as much as I would’ve loved it if I could write a script and then read it out loud to you, I couldn’t. I couldn’t because I don’t know what I want, or will say- I just know that I have to say _something._ Because I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want to let you go.

“A week ago, back in the coffee shop- Eren, fuck, there was so much shit I needed to say, so much shit I wanted to say. But I didn’t, and the reason for that is still a mystery to me, because all I could think back then was about how much I didn’t want you to keep on talking, how much I wished your throat would swell with tears and you wouldn’t have to tell me what I knew you were going to say before the words left your lips and- and- and, and I really didn’t want you to leave me, I really don’t want you to go, and I know I'm an idiot and I know I'm dysfunctional and cold and closed off and I know you don’t really know me as much as you’d probably like to because I, because I wouldn’t _let_ you, because I didn’t want you to know me because I knew, I knew that day would come and I didn’t want to get attached so the heartbreak could come to a minimum once you decided that I was too toxic, and once you’d given up on me live everyone else did once upon a time.

But I just- I just _couldn’t_ , I couldn’t because as much as I wanted to close myself up and not let you in, you still managed to carve yourself into my heart without my consent and you managed to worm into my heart and soul and mind with all of your stupid jokes and kisses and your insistence in taking care of me and making sure I'm always okay and that I'm taking care of myself. You actually bothered with learning the little things about me and, Eren, you made me fall so madly and so fucking deeply in love with you that I think I’ve never hated anyone so much as I do you, because you’ve somehow managed to ink yourself into the back of my eyelids and to carve yourself into the corners of my room and the warmth of the blankets and that empty kitchen chair I never used until a year ago when you first dragged me into that stupid dinner date and then made me pay for it and the movie and, fuck Eren, I was totally okay with that.

“I was completely okay with that because I fell in love with you the moment I saw the fire and the fury and pure and raw _passion_ and emotion in your eyes, but I never realised how much I’d gone and how much I’d fallen until I was completely stupid and absolutely _gone_ for you, and the realisation that I was a goner punched me in the face so hard I almost fell over and broke my nose- no, really- I just, Eren, I just _really_ don’t want you to leave me because you’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me and, and I want you to know that I love you , I love you so much that I don’t know how I never truly realised it because it physically hurts me to keep these words on the tip of my tongue and on the corner of my eyes and the bottom of my stomach, and heart, and in the back of my brain and, and, and…. Eren, shit, I love you so much. So, so much, and I know that you probably won’t take me back after all the shit I’ve made you go through, but I think I just wanted you to know that I love you with everything I have and that I regret the fact that I never let you in consciously every night and every day and every single moment of every single waking moment I spend.

“So… yes- Eren. I love you. And I’m very, very sorry,”

After a few seconds- which they spend looking at each other in an awkward silence- Eren shakes his head and Levi fears the worst.

"You’re an idiot," he says, walking towards him and wrapping his arms around Levi’s back tightly.

"Such a fucking idiot.”

Levi chuckles, burying his face in Eren’s chest and trying to choke back his sobs.

"I know," he says.

"I know, fuck, I’m so sorry, Eren."

Eren shakes his head, kissing the top of Levi’s. “It’s okay. It’s okay, you came back, it’s okay…” He whispers.

Levi sighs.

“it isn’t okay, though… I shouldn’t have let you go in the first place,” Levi mumbles against Eren’s chest, tightening his grip a little when Eren back away- but Eren simply smiles and takes Levi’s hands, de-attaching them from around his back and taking a few steps back, still holding Levi’s hands.

He lets go of one of them to tilt the other’s chin up, smiling softly at the look of utter relief that Levi wears. “Hey,” he says, and kisses Levi- and oh, how much he’d missed those lips he never knew he grew attached to.

Eren pulls away much too fast and Levi tries to follow his lips with his own, making Eren chuckle. “I don’t care that you didn’t stop me from leaving before,” he says, leaning his forehead into Levi’s and pecking his lips again. “I just care that you came back for me,”  

Levi sighs in relief, sobbing and kissing the front of Eren’s neck, and his chin, and his lips with a relieved passion that’s difficult to explain and grasp altogether, but it’s still _there,_ burning in between their bodies and lips and on the pads of Levi’s fingers.

He pushes Eren beck gently by his waist, rubbing circles on the skin that was exposed during the movement and action that had Eren crouching down a little and pressing his back against the wall, the back of his shirt riding up and Levi’s rough hands taking advantage and caressing the skin there in a way that feels raw, and new and _wonderful_ for both of them.

Eren wraps one of his legs on Levi’s waist, and the raven grabs the other and hoists him up so he’s supporting Eren’s weight as well as his own.

He moves his hands to Eren’s lower backside, caressing and squeezing a little, but not in the rough way that it would normally be but in a gentler, more loving way.

Eren moans against Levi’s lips, the sound swallowed by the other’s mouth. 

Levi swiftly pulls Eren away from the wall, instead carrying his (dead) weight completely on his hips while continuing to kiss Eren in a loving manner.

Eren never ceases so be amazed by Levi’s strength, even if he’s been with the other for almost a year now and has been experiencing the whole range of it firsthand (another story for another time)

Levi walks towards the couch, dropping Eren on it softly and then moving so he’s straddling him. Eren throws the blanket that bunches up beneath him to the floor, pushing himself up a little so his head is resting on the arm of the couch and his feet are barely grazing the other one. Levi sits up, resting his weight on the balls of his feet and takes his shirt off (Eren then does the same once Levi’s is on the other side of the room, forgotten in a place neither of them care about at the moment). Eren traces his fingers lightly over the scars on Levi’s torso, following the lines of his muscles and flattening his palms against the sides of Levi’s body, and his back, and stomach. Levi does something similar, grazing his fingers over Eren’s upper torso and his arms, and then sliding down to press against his lower stomach.

“You’re beautiful,” Levi mumbles amazedly, hanging his head. Eren moves one of his hands to Levi’s face, then, tilting it up and dragging him down to meet Eren’s lips halfway in a long, sweet kiss.  “You’re beautiful, too,” he says, letting his other hand travel down and beneath Levi’s trousers and pants.

Levi smiles, tears forming in his eyes again, but doesn’t respond, instead he kisses Eren again then stands up.

“What-“

Levi looks at Eren and unbuttons his jeans (He leaves them there, on the floor, then walks towards Eren’s room and comes back with a bottle of lube and a condom in his hand) “Will this be okay, Eren? Or do you-“

“This is perfect,” Eren cuts him off, struggling to get his trousers off and then throwing them over the couch, laying there completely naked and feeling a little self-conscious. Levi nods, the right side of his lips tugging upwards a little. “Alright,” He says, removing his pants and parting Eren’s legs, sitting between them.

They kiss once more, and then Levi takes Eren’s left leg and put it over his shoulder, sliding a little closer to Eren’s hips so the strain is not as bad as it normally would. Levi silently pours some Lube onto his fingers, rimming Eren’s entrance with the tip of his finger and entering it just to the first phalanx.

Eren groans, pushing his hips back and props himself up on his forearms, closing his eyes when Levi continues and buries it down to the knuckle.

Levi starts to move it slowly, and then, when he hears that Eren’s sounds are more pleasured than pained, he adds another finger, scissoring and curling them until Eren screams a little, throwing his head back and leaving his mouth open. Levi smiles. “Found it,” he whispers, and leans over to kiss Eren’s bottom lip. Levi adds a third finger after rubbing Eren’s prostate a few more times, making Eren moan and groan deliciously.

After another minute, Levi takes his wet fingers out, making Eren groan in discontent  at the loss and bring his head back slowly, observing as Levi struggles to put on the condom with slippery hands.

Eren laughs little, taking the little package from Levi’s hands and kisses him tenderly (opening the plastic wrapper and even taking the liberty of sliding it over Levi’s member, coating it with lube and making the other moan breathily and kiss Eren with an open mouth.

Eren lies down again, nesting himself comfortably against the couch cushions and smiles towards Levi, spreading his arms and laughing when Levi rolls his eyes and crawls to hover over him, leaning down to peck Eren’s lips softly. “You ready?” he whispers against them, looking into Eren’s eyes lovingly.

Eren nods, touching his forehead against Levi’s and wrapping his arms around his neck. “Yeah,” He says, and Levi takes his legs and puts them over his shoulders, and kisses Levi while he slowly (but surely and somehow excitedly) pushes into Eren with soft movements and tender caresses.

Levi brackets his arms on either side of Eren’s head, pushing against Eren’s forehead and relaxing one he’s buried to the brim inside the tight, sweet heat that’s Eren.

His Eren.

A few seconds later, Eren, breathing heavily against Levi’s lips, whispers a soft, “Move.” And Levi does just that, starting to thrust his hips forward with a sweet caution that makes Eren feel safe, and loved, and many other wonderfully _warm_ things that can only be described with words in foreign tongues and dialects unknown to himself. 

Levi’s hips maintain a steady rhythm in which he changes his angle a little bit at every perfectly-timed thrust his hips give until he find Eren’s prostate, when he stays at that angle and hits it repeatedly and makes Eren see stars.

They are both making sounds that sound obscene and are reserved for their ears and their ears only, from this moment on. They hold a sweet and tender fucking- no, not fucking, because this isn’t and probably will never be something that mundane anymore; they hold a sweet and tender way of _making love_ (and that’s what Levi and Eren call it in their heads and in their hearts), which makes Levi want to cry and laugh and lose himself completely on the bliss that’s this whole _love_ thing.

From the moment in which Levi’s hips speed up and his marked rhythm breaks, in which the sounds he makes become more and more insistent and one of his hands move to touch Eren and give him the relief he’s been missing since Levi kissed him on the threshold of his home and pushed him against the wall.

Levi speeds up even more, kissing Eren and sucking at his neck and chest like he’s been doing the whole session. Eren scratches at his back, heels knocking against Levi’s shoulder blades and blunt nails making thin, red lines.

When they come, they come together (or, well, almost; Eren comes first and Levi follows straight), and when Levi kind of recovers his breath he pulls out of Eren and stands up, paddling towards the bathroom and leaving Eren laying there, naked, and with his chest streaked white.

Levi comes back a few minutes later, looking happy with a clean chest and a wet, warm towel on his right hand.

He uses the towel to wipe off the semen on Eren’s torso, kissing the younger male briefly before going back into the bathroom to leave the rag.

Eren laughs quietly and stares at Levi’s ass, enjoying the view a lot.

When Levi comes back, he puts on his pants and throws Eren’s at him- “I won’t risk blondie or your sister walking in and seeing my or your junk, kid,” he explains. “I know they’ve probably already seen it before, but from now on it’s for my eyes and my eyes only.”

Eren smiles and stands up to put his pants off and turn the TV off.

Levi plops down on Eren’s shitty couch, looking up at the other expectantly. “You know, after all this time asking to cuddle, I would’ve thought you’d jump in at the first offer of it,” Levi says, spreading his arms and pushing himself farther into the back of the couch. Eren smiles and giggles happily, slowly lying down and snuggling up into Levi’s chest (this time he isn’t pushed away, but pushed farther into the warmth that it offers, and that combined with the pair of lips on the top of his head make Eren ridiculously happy, so he squirms and buries his nose further into Levi’s neck).

Levi leans over and grabs the blanket that Eren threw onto the floor some time ago, covering the green-eyed boy and himself with it, then going back to hug Eren and doing it extra hard this time.

They stay like that, in complete silence except for the heater that comes muffled from somewhere in the kitchen. The silence drags for so long that Levi’s sure that Eren’s already fast asleep, and he’s already nodding off when the movement of Eren’s head against his brings him back from limbo.

“I have to change it,” Eren mumbles, opening his eyes and looking up at Levi with bright, soft green eyes. “What?” Levi asks, looking down at him and smiling lopsidedly. “The heater?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.

Eren smiles a small smile and nods, burying himself into Levi’s neck again. “Yeah,” His breath tickles Levi’s skin, and he laughs shortly and softly.

“Nah,” He says, pressing his cheek against Eren’s head and kissing his ear. “Why don’t you move in with me instead? My heater works just fine,” He says, closing his eyes (but immediately opening them again).

“Seriously?!” Eren asks, jerking his head a little and hitting Levi’s cheek.

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry,” he says, emerald eyes now clouded with fear.

Levi smiles, shaking his head and gripping his jaw. “Ouch,” He says, settling back down and instead pressing Eren’s (reluctant) head against his chest. “It’s alright, Eren,” he sighs, poking at Eren’s tense shoulders (he hates himself for putting that fear there, now).

“Yeah, seriously,” He says after, gripping Eren’s hand and turning his head down to look at the other in the eye (Eren pulled his head away a little to glance up at Levi with awe.)

“Wow… really? I mean, I…”

Levi rises an eyebrow. “You what?” He asks.

Eren shakes his head. “Nothing,” He says with a bright smile.

He leans down and captures Levi’s lips with his own, laughing in delight while still pushing his mouth against his lover’s.

“Of course I will,” He says, looking at Levi in the eye. “Of course,” He says, and kisses him again, this time more deeply.

He settles down after that, still smiling broadly against Levi’s bare chest.

“I love you,” Eren says quietly, almost shyly. He plays with a loose thread on the blanket that lies over them, not expecting an answer.

(But still getting one)

“I love you, too,” Levi breathes, lips ghosting over the top of Eren’s head.

“So, so very much,” he ends, hugging Eren closer and finally, finally letting the exhaustion pull him down into its dark abyss with Eren in tow.

(Armin finds them in that position, hours later) (They are still sound asleep and not showing any signs of waking up anytime soon) (So Armin takes a picture and makes sure that everything is in order before quietly sliding out of the apartment, smiling in secret)

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i was pretty worried that i would do this ooc.... I hope i did well, though!! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are taken into my heart and kept in a warm, special place there (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o))) <333

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!


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